A Little Rain Must Fall
by Meme-Ann
Summary: Complete!SLASH. Fulton and Portman encounter their first real problems after Seven Minutes In Heaven. Like the softy I am, I brought them back together!
1. 1

~* I don't own the Ducks but I do own this idea and my desire to be Portman's straight lover on the side. Remember my Fulton and Portman stories are all one behind my Charlie and Banks stories so this is all going on at the same time as what happened in Nothing's Perfect.*~   
  
Fulton's POV  
  
  
  
  
That whole living in separate states thing was starting to get really aggravating while I stood at the train station waiting for the Amtrak on track 9 to come in. I was starting to think that the train from Chicago to Minneapolis was going slower every other week just to stress me out. I don't know why it was driving me so crazy, it just was. I think it was because I had just ran into Charlie and Banks at the rink the day before. I didn't know Banksie was coming home, I don't think Charlie did either. Everything things so easy for those two. They miss one another so Banks packs up and moves across the country to be with him. Unfortunately not everyone has the luxury of the cash to just do things like that.   
  
Finally the train came a screeching halt at the platform in front of me and the sound surged through my head. Then of course because I wasn't in the worst possible mood already my boyfriend how to be the last person off of the train. He game bounding( which is hard for a 6'2" mass of muscle) across the platform and nearly knocked me off my feet, like I hadn't been in Illinois two weeks before to see him.  
  
"I missed you." He gushed adjusting his bandana   
  
"Missed you too." I replied flatly picking up his bag, I had to get out of that station before my head exploded  
  
We walked silently out to my 83 Ford Bronco, it wasn't exactly in the best of conditions but it was better then nothing and it was mine. I opened my door and leaned over to let Dean in, he was smiling like a Cheshire cat and I was starting to wonder why the long distance relationship wasn't wearing him down as much as it was me.  
  
"So what are we gonna do this weekend?" Portman leaned over and turned on the radio   
  
"I dunno, skate, play some hockey, see a movie?" My ideas for romantic endeavors were limited greatly by my lack of cash  
  
"Gee don't try to hard."  
  
"Oh come on Portman, what do you think I'm gonna come up with. It's not like we haven't been together for months now, we're passed the whole wooing stage of the relationship don't you think?"  
  
"Okay point taken."  
  
I eased my Bronco from the parking lot and down the uncharacteristically busy streets Dean's hand on top of mine on the shift. It was kind of sweet I guess, I mean it was a Connie and Guy sort of thing. My mind was just else where, it was like I knew he was right there beside me right then, but I knew in three days he'd be gone again and it would be another fourteen days until I got to see him again. It just wasn't working for me, I was seriously starting to think maybe everything would be better for both of us if we just ended it. Called it off before we both got hurt, I just had to figure out how to bring myself to do it. 


	2. 2

Portman's POV  
  
  
  
Maybe it was something I said, or didn't say, or something I did, or didn't do. Whatever it was Fulton didn't seem to happy to see me. You'd think he'd be excited to spend time with me and all, but I guess not. Huh I guess I was a bad boyfriend at the time and I couldn't even use the excuse I was new to that ball game because I wasn't.  
  
"Hey Fult, is there something wrong?" I cocked my head to the side and studied his face  
  
"Nah, I'm fine don't worry about." Yeah real convincing Reed, I almost bought that.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"For God's sake yes, I'm fucking fine!" Okay well that came out harsh, I hoped he didn't mean it like that  
  
"Oh okay. Hey I wrote you another poem while I was on the train." I pulled a piece of paper from my pocket and I swear I saw him shutter  
  
I never knew something was missing  
Until you came into my world  
Then I knew I couldn't be complete  
Without your love as beautiful as pearl  
Then you said you loved me  
Now I am whole  
I pledge to you my heart  
My life, my love my soul  
Boy you have filled a void  
I didn't realize was there  
I only hope I make you feel  
The same way you have me  
I'll be here right by your side  
From now until eternity  
  
Is it sad that no matter what was going on in my life Fulton could bring out the sap in me? He didn't however seem to impressed in my heartfelt work.  
  
"That was nice Dean, thank you." The lack of enthusiasm in his tone was going very little for making me feel better  
  
"It's how I really feel. You know I love you right?" I reached over and squeezed his knee  
  
"Yeah, of course I do. Music now." He leaned over and pushed the cassette into the player, cranking Rob Zombie through the speakers.  
  
By Demon Speeding I was really annoyed with the whole not talking to me thing and usually when I get annoyed stuff tends to get broken. That tape was going to be it. I slammed the eject button in causing the cassette to come flying out into my hands. The same hands that in turned snapped the damn audio tape and flung it out the window while going fifty down the highway.  
  
"Okay Portman that was uncalled for." Fulton snapped turning his eyes away from the road to glare at me. He was so cute when he was mad  
  
"Stop ignoring me then." I declared with a smile  
  
"I'm not ignoring."  
  
"Then talk to me!" I bounced in my seat like and angry child  
  
"There's nothing to talk about."  
  
"I'm gonna get frost bite over here. Damn it Reed what is you're problem?"  
  
"Us! We're my problem ok. Is that what you wanted to here? That this relationship is bringing me down. God Dean, I love you so much but this isn't working. It's not satisfying in the slightest bit. Things were easier when we were just best friends. At least them we weren't going out of our way to see one another twice a month."  
  
"So you wanna break up again?" My heart was thumping in my chest so hard I'm surprised he couldn't see the palpitations   
  
"Yes, no, I dunno. All I know is I don't wanna talk about this right now."  
  
"Well we have to talk Fulton, how are we gonna fix things if we don't talk?"  
  
"I don't think they can be fixed Dean."  
  
That was it, end of discussion, he closed the book. All there was for me to do was sit silently in the Bronco and wait until we reached his apartment. It was a dump, but I loved it there. It was the place that we made love for the second time and that night it was less contained then the first (which had been under a slide at a local play ground). It had been wonderful, I loved being loved by him. I loved the way he touched my body, but always the way he touched my heart. I loved the way he looked dressed from head to toe in his hockey gear, loved the way he looked dressed in nothing at all. Cherished the way he smiled at me when he knew I had caught him staring at me and the way he smiled when he didn't know I had. He was everything to me and I was about to give up that easily. We'd made it through all of the other obstacles in our relationship and I wasn't about to lie down and die then either. 


	3. 3

Fulton's POV  
  
  
  
Why couldn't he just admit that we were having problems? He had to be the one that thought everything was alright, we can survive anything. Well news flash Dean we were not exactly Snow White and Prince Charming. I mean granted I wasn't exactly happy about the idea of leaving him and all. He was my first love, my only love really. There was all those chicks I saw in high school but I didn't have any feelings for them really. I never even got past second base with any of them, but that was on my own free will. I don't think I ever really got the live my life, being a wild and free teenage guy, my feelings for him were always holding me back. While I was fantasizing about him, he was out with that Maryann girl, doing the things that I wouldn't do with anyone but him.  
  
I think that added to my decision to bring things to an end. He stood in the door way of my kitchen, watching me intently as I pulled a frozen pizza from oven. His muscles were tight under his wife beater, I could tell he was stressed about what had happened in the car and in truth I hated hurting him. I just couldn't think of any other way around the separation issue. If we broke sooner rather then later I'd be able to experience love with someone else and he could go home and try to get Maryann back, from what he'd told, she was still carrying a torch for him.   
  
"Oh you made dinner, how sweet." He walked over to me and put his hands on my hips as I was bending over to take the food from the oven  
  
"Dean, please." I sighed standing up, my back stiffening  
  
"Please what?" His arms came tighter around me and he rested his chin on my shoulder  
  
"Please don't do this."  
  
"I could be saying the same thing to you." He murmured kissing my neck  
  
"You're making this very difficult." Turned and put the pizza on the counter trying not the cut my finger off while slicing it  
  
"I'm tryin'. So have I changed your mind yet?"  
  
I'm weak, I admit it, once you go for my neck I'm a goner no matter how set against the idea I am. My knees were starting to get weak, and my excited was starting to be obvious, I didn't realize my jeans could stretch the way they did. I tried to be firm and tough, I tried not to gasp as he continued his sensual assault on me.  
  
"Portman." I moaned against his lips. 'Why did he have to be such a great kisser, with such strong, gentle hands that were rubbing my arms lightly? Why couldn't I fight it? Why did it have to be so hard?' That was all the things that were running through my mind as I followed him into my bedroom. Oh well there was always the next day to end the relationship. 


	4. 4

~* This story is dedicated to someone very special to me, they know who they are. And you're reading this Hun, I luv ya. Secondly is anyone actually reading this story? Let me know if you are.*~  
  
  
  
  
Portman's POV  
  
  
  
  
  
We were laying cuddled on Fulton's bed when the phone on the carpet roll end table started to ring. Fulton had his head on my chest and I really didn't wanna move to answer it but I figured being that it was his phone, he might be pissed if it was important and didn't get answered. I sighed and reached over causing Fulton the groan and roll over.  
  
"Yo?" That was my usual telephone answering technique, it wasn't for the benefit of whoever was on the other end.  
  
"Portman?" The voice on the line asked, their voice sounding like they were crying or at least had been.  
  
"Yeah, Banksie?"  
  
"Yeah, uh is Fulton there?" Adam sniffled  
  
"He's asleep, what's wrong?" I sat up in the bed, worried from his tone  
  
"Do you two have anything planned for today?" He queried  
  
"Not that I know of why?"  
  
"I need some help moving out of my dorm room, I was hoping you guys could help me."  
  
"Sure, but why are you moving out of the dorms?"  
  
"Portman, Charlie beat me up, he's not here right now. I wanna be gone before he gets back." He explained, his voice small and timid  
  
"Wait, he did what!" My yell causing Fulton to jump awake and give me a confused look.  
  
"He's been hitting me for a while, but it was the worst last night, I've got a black eye. So could you help me out?"  
  
"We'll be right there." I hung up and shot out of bed "Fult get up, we gotta go?"  
  
"Gotta go where?" My boyfriend raised his eye brows at me  
  
"Charlie's been beat on Banks, he needs help getting his stuff out their dorm room before Conway gets back."  
  
I was the first person to walk into the room that night, Charlie was sitting on the bed waiting. From what Banks had told me when we were walking up the stairs, he'd told Charlie not to be there. Not that the Captain listened. To tell you the truth, I'm not sure how I avoided punching that son of a bitch, while we were lugging boxes. If Fulton and Banksie hadn't had been there, I probably would've tore him a new asshole.  
  
When he grabbed Banksie by the shoulders I really was ready to pound him. I even told him that. But Fulton's hand came down on my shoulder and something about his touch just calmed me no matter what. I loved him so much.  
  
After we dropped Banks and his things off at his parents house, Fulton and I drove over to the local park. The sun was starting to set and the tinted a gorgeous pink and purple mix. It looked like someone had painted it just for us. I turned my head and studied his profile. My boyfriend was so beautiful.  
  
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Fulton inquired   
  
"I was just thinking about how much I love you." I replied threading my fingers trough his.  
  
"Dean, please not again."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, this. We can't keep this up."  
  
"But I do love you."  
  
"Dean…"  
  
That didn't sound good. 


	5. 5

Fulton's POV  
He was the very definition of tall dark and handsome and he's got those eyes that see right through me. Forever I thought we were meant to be together, but if a couple like Charlie and Banks, that seemed like they had been put on the earth strictly to be together couldn't work things out, what made me think Dean and I could survive? Sure we had already been together once, but things hadn't worked out that time either. Maybe I was wrong to think it would all be okay this time.  
  
I really couldn't put my finger on what was making me so uncomfortable about our relationship. Of course I can, who am I kidding. Every time I looked at his face, I saw her, Maryann. I saw her kissing him, touching him, fore filling him in a way I never could. I know that had been months before and I should've been past it, I had told him I was past it. I just couldn't get the thought from my mind.  
  
While we were apart I hadn't actually dated anyone else, I mean the girls at school liked me and I went out on a few dates but nothing serious. I'd usually just take them to the movies or skating once and that would be the end of it. Portman would see a chick for at least a week and sometimes I'd wonder what they were doing. I didn't like girls, I didn't wanna settle down with out him and he was out tramping the streets. And sleeping with at least one of them. Damn that Maryann.  
  
"I really think you should go home Dean." I said with a sigh, sliding away from him in the car.  
  
"I'm not letting you do this." he replied. "You're not getting rid of me, especially not now that we've got everything the way we want it."  
  
"Wrong Dean, we have everything the way you want it, I haven't been happy for a long time."  
  
"Well I can't go home, my ticket isn't for two days from now, you're stuck with me." Portman declared with a grin, to him this was all like a joke.  
  
"Then you're sleeping on the couch."  
  
"Why are you doing this? Fult what's the matter with you? It's like you just get together with me so you can dump me!" With each sentence his voice got louder and before I knew it, he was yelling his fool head off. "I'll admit I haven't been the ideal boyfriend and when we were having problems after grad, that was mostly my fault, but I have never done anything that even remotely compares to the shit you keep doing! It's like you like breaking up, like you enjoy hurting me! Is that it, do you like watching me suffer?"  
  
"How can you say that?" I was appalled.  
  
"It wasn't hard, it seems like the logical theory, you just look for controversy. Look at it from my point of view huh, we get together in the Good Will Games and when they're over, you decided to end things because you couldn't handle a long distance relationship. Last month, you stop put things on hold and turn to an ice bitch because I didn't wanna tell my father I was gay, now this."  
  
"You're an asshole, you know that? The week you didn't come up cuz your mom had the flu and Jason and Tiffany had the chicken pox, I was lost. Not being with you for the weekend was driving me crazy."  
  
~* FLASHBACK*~  
  
The lights in the stands were all off, the only light at all was the one that hung from the ceiling above the ice. It was an almost romantic atmosphere, the only thing ruining it was the single skater already on the ice.  
  
"How long do you think he's been here?" Banks asked lacing his skates.  
  
"I'd say from the way he's moving, hours." Charlie answered getting up but waiting for his boyfriend before going onto the ice.  
  
"Hi Fulton, what's up?" They skated out to the dark haired boy trying not to stand to close together. The two of them knew the reason he was upset, he missed Portman, even if he wouldn't admit it. Both also knew he wouldn't.  
  
"Hey guys, when did you get here?" Fulton stopped and came toward them.  
  
"Just a couple minutes ago." Adam replied skating around him and Charlie  
  
"How's it goin' Fulton?" Charlie eyed him worriedly.   
  
"Oh you don't wanna hear about it." The Bash Brother responded looking down at the ice  
  
"Of course we do, that's what friends are for." Banksie pried coming to a stop as he grew dizzy  
  
"It's nothing, I'm gonna get goin'. Lata." They watched as he left and then looked at each other.  
  
~*END FLASHBACK*~  
  
"But you know what, if that's the way you feel, then we really shouldn't be together." I slammed the SUV into reverse and pealed out of the park, Portman screaming the whole ride home. 


	6. 6

Portman POV  
I walked into Fulton's apartment and slumped onto his couch. I had spent the entire ride fighting with him and by the time we arrived home my throat hurt too much to even ask him to hand me the remote control. Apparently twenty minutes of bickering back and forth hadn't tired him out however. I was about too pass out exhausted from the argument and he was standing in the kitchen still going.  
  
"And another thing, have you told your father yet?"  
  
I tipped over side ways and buried my face in the arm of the sofa hoping if I ignored him he'd go away. No such luck. He stood in the doorway to the kitchen with his arms crossed.  
  
"Are you listening to me?"  
  
"No." I groaned.  
  
"Well you better, cuz I'm not talking to hear my own voice."  
  
"Look Fult, you broke up with me okay, you broke up with me, you made this decision all on your own. Now I'm tired, I have a headache and I don't want to fight with you anymore." I grumbled.  
  
"That's a no then right? You're not answering the question because you didn't tell him."  
  
"Jesus Fulton, you're starting to sound like a PMSing girl! Now I don't want to talk about this, I want to go to sleep. Then I'm going to pack up and try to find a way to change the date on my ticket so I can go home."  
  
"Yeah, run away, that's what you're best at."   
  
"Fulton, I don't know what you want me to do here, what do you expect me to say?"  
  
"Nothing Dean, it's not like you care about what I'm feeling anyway, it's all about the sex to you." He muttered and left the room.  
  
It's safe to say that I didn't get to take the much needed nap I was hoping for. Fulton was in rare form, even though he left me alone, he went in his room and cranked his stereo as loud as it would go to prevent sleep. I couldn't figure out what his problem was and it wasn't like his was about to tell me. I know most people don't think I'm all that sensitive but truthfully, I can't stand to see another person upset or hurting, but I just couldn't understand what was wrong. What had I done that had been so bad?  
  
People always warn you not to fall in love with your best friend, because nothing can ever stay the way it was. Maybe I was wrong to think that after we'd been going together for awhile, he'd still feel the same fire and passion for me he had in the past. But on the other hand, the fire and passion weren't really that big of a deal. The sex had never been that important, and his words hurt like a knife into flesh.  
  
When I got off the couch and walked out of the house that day, I could've sworn he yelled something after me, but I didn't turn back to see what. I walked down the Minnesota streets like I had many times before thinking. I know me thinking, sort of something you could never picture, yet I do it a lot, sometimes I'm told I over think things. Maybe that was my problem, maybe I couldn't figure out what was going on simply because of how hard I was thinking.  
  
The night was dark, unusually dark for that time of year, as I wondered the sidewalk. There were people around and every once in a while I'd side step to avoid a crashing into them, though other then that my movements were almost robotic. I was so lost in thought, I hardly noticed when my cell phone rang in the pocket of my jeans, when I looked at it though the caller ID read Fulton Reed.  
  
"Hello?" I smiled hitting the talk button.  
  
"Don't go home." His voice was deathly serious.  
  
"I knew you'd change your mind."  
  
"I didn't Portman, Banks just called, Charlie's been in an accident. I dunno how bad, so I think you should stay nearby."  
  
"So… do you want me to come back there or…?" I let my voice trail off.  
  
"I'll leave the door open, I'll be in bed. Portman please don't come in and bother me. I'll put a pillow and blanket on the couch."  
  
"Yeah, okay. I guess I'll be there later."  
  
"Alright, well lock up when you come in." And he hung up.  
  
This gay thing was starting to be a hassle. 


	7. 7

Fulton's POV.  
  
Why is it every time I'm too fed up with Portman to stand the sight of him anymore, a member of the other gay Ducks couple has to get himself hospitalized? I was almost certain they were doing it on purpose, maybe Dean was paying them or something, like they were toying with me. First Banks slices hi wrist, then Charlie cracks up his car. Call me paranoid if you want, but I swear it was a conspiracy.  
  
"I'm being punished aren't I?" I asked looking up at my ceiling as I laid in bed that night.  
  
Unfortunately I said it loud enough for the nosy sack of muscle on the couch to hear, because I heard.  
"What would you be punished for?" Come from the living room.  
  
I was half tempted to say 'Dating you' but I didn't. Just because the relationship was pretty much dead in the water didn't mean I had to be rude to him.  
"Nothing Portman, just go to sleep." I hollered back and sunk deeper into my pillow.  
  
When I got out of the next morning I could hear the sound of water running in my bathroom and knew Portman was already awake. I pushed past him as he stood at the sink shaving the twenty-four hour stubble off his chin and made my way to the toilet. I lifted the lid and paused for a minute looking at him.  
"Could I get some privacy here?"  
  
He looked at me puzzled.  
"What you can't take a leak in front of me anymore?"  
  
"I'd rather not, no."  
  
"Come on Fulton it's not like you've got something I haven't seen. I know your body better then I know my own. Like the scar on your stomach from when you had your appendix removed, the birthmark on your lower back that's shaped like Massachusetts and the tattoo on your upper thigh you got in memory of your little cousin that died. I've seen it all, even stuff no one else has."  
  
"The fact the you studied my nakedness that intently is in fact mildly creepy, Portman.' I declared.  
  
He just shrugged and slid open the glass door to the shower.  
"Call it whatever you want dude. But I gotta take a shower, so you can piss now or wait till I'm done."  
  
"You have to make everything fucking difficult."  
  
"Yeah, I know, it's tragic." Dean smiled and closed the door around him, the hot from the water instantly starting to fog the room like a tropical paradise.  
  
I shook my head and went to the bathroom, then wondered over to the sink for my turn. My face was pretty smooth but I gave it a quick run over with the razor, then started brushing my teeth. The medicine cabinet mirror was casting reflections of the shower, once more it was casting blurred reflection of the person in the shower. The fuzzy image of Portman rubbing the soap across his toned chest was to say the least, tantalizing. I was actually fighting the yearning to yank open the shower and proceed with a rousing round of makeup sex. The only obstacle being that I didn't want to makeup. I'll take an order of makeup sex hold the makeup please.  
  
Anyway, I digress. After brushing my hair and teeth and I went to room to get dressed. As I pulled my Black Sabbath tee-shirt over my head, I heard the phone ring. Portman answered it before I could and I walked out into the other room to see who was on the line. I was sort of given the clue it was Banksie from the way my fellow Bash Brother was talking.  
  
"What do you mean you're not going? That's pretty low, even with all the fuck ups he's made you guys have been friends forever. A balloon, you want us to give him a balloon instead… Yeah that'll really make up for not having you there I'm sure. I know I know, alright rich boy we'll see you later then."  
  
"Banks?" I inquired after Dean had hung up.  
  
"Yeah, he's not coming to the hospital today, he said it'll be to easy for him to take Charlie back if he sees him in pain."  
  
I nodded and rolled my tongue around inside my mouth, in a nervous mannerism. Not because of the situation between Charlie and Banks, but because of the situation between me and Dean. I don't know how you love and hate the same person with all your heart. Some how I managed to do it. I both cherished and despised the guy that stood in front me with his broad shoulders lumped and strong hands jammed in his pockets.   
  
I looked at Portman, dressed in a great fitting pair of black jeans and a dark blue tank top, with a white cotton button down shirt over it, the bandana I bought him last Christmas wrapped around his hair and I saw the unbelievably hot college freshmen I'd been dating weeks ago. Seeing the concerned look he had in his eyes for not only Charlie but Adam as well, even though he was trying to hide it, made me think back to the day at the JR. Good Will Games, when Luis had crashed into me during practice and I'd slid hard into one of the boards. The worried expression I'd seen on his face that day, when I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me, had been the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with.  
  
Then I saw another side of him, the side that lied to me, hid things from me and was living to far away from me for to completely trust. Trust is something you earn, and when it's lost you have to earn it back. He hadn't, I tried to convince myself those weeks after Banks cut himself, that he had. But no steps had been made, no old wounds healed, some had even grown deeper. There were so many different voices in my head screaming things, I didn't know which to listen to. Yet the one saying to call quits was the loudest, so that one, won out in the end.  
  
"Hey Fult, you in there?" Portman snapped his fingers in front of me.  
  
"Huh?" I shook my head, not realizing I'd been so lost in thought.  
  
"I asked if you were ready to get to the hospital and you totally ignored me."  
  
"Oh, sorry, yeah I'm ready, let's hit the road." As we left my apartment that day, as rude as it sounds, the last thing on my mind was Charlie. 


	8. 8

PORTMAN'S POV  
When we left the hospital Fulton let me drive, well I don't know if it's as much he let me  
drive as I sat in the driver's seat and wouldn't move. I can be very stubborn at times, if  
you haven't already noticed. Not that he can't, we fought over the spot for a good twenty  
minutes. You should've seen the people looking at us like we were nutty as putty. Finally  
however he realized I wasn't budging and he couldn't move me, so I won. Why did I fight  
for almost a half an hour to drive Fulton's car? I don't know, but it got him to at least talk  
to me.  
  
"We're going to talk." I declared backing out of the parking lot.  
  
Fulton raised his eyebrows.  
"Are we?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What makes you so sure?"  
  
I thought for a moment trying to think of a good enough threat, there wasn't one.  
"Because even if you want to play the break up game again, we're still friends. Jesus  
we've been best friends for years damn it."  
  
"So what do you want to talk about then Portman?" He sighed, drumming his fingers on  
his knee.  
  
"Charlie and Banks."  
  
He sighs again, this time in relief, I knew he thought I was going to say us. Seeing as I  
didn't want him to muster up the strength to push me out of the Bronco while he drove  
back to his house, I didn't. Besides Charlie and Banks seemed like as good a topic as any.  
All I had to do was think of how exactly I was going to relate them to us.  
  
"Okay, talk."  
  
"Well..." I began. "It's just you know they really love each other, you can tell just by the  
way their faces look when somebody mentions the other."  
  
Fulton nodded.  
"Yeah, I know."  
  
"I mean did you see the look on Adam's face when we went to pick up the balloon?"  
  
"Yeah, I thought he was gonna cry. It's kinda sad, but Charlie did beat the hell out of him.  
He'll be lucky if he can play at all this season, if he can't he may lose his scholarship."  
  
"You know I never thought of it that way." I conceded.  
  
"Figures." He grumbled like I was intentionally being insensitive.  
  
"And Charlie looked like somebody ripped his heart out when he found out Banks wasn't  
coming." I continued trying to prove I did infact notice things.  
  
"Banks is hurting because he doesn't want to be around Charlie, Charlie's hurting because  
he misses Banks. It's a tragic cycle."  
  
"They'll have to see each other at Bombay's wedding, so they better get over it."  
  
Fulton looked over at after chewing on his finger nail, a habit not many people see.  
"Are you still going to the wedding?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I? The whole team was invited." I observed.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know... I just thought maybe since we broke up..."  
  
"No, Fult, we didn't break up. You broke up, I was very happy with things the way they  
were."  
  
"You're an ass Portman, you know that?"  
  
"I'm an ass? Oh man, you know what Fulton, you a moron. You spend all your time  
thinking of ways to get rid of me. When you should be thinking of ways to keep me. I've  
done nothing since I was thirteen but love you and you fuck with my head so bad. God  
damn it Reed, just think about it for one fricken second. You broke up with me three,  
that's three times." I held up fingers to illistrate. "The first time after the Good Will  
Games, the second time when I woulnd't tell my dad and now. If you haven't noticed I  
haven't gone away. You're stuck with me weather you like it or not, it may not be as  
lovers, it may not even be as friends, but I will not let you chance me out of your life."  
  
"I don't want to talk about this." He whispered rolling down his window and sticking his  
head out it.  
  
That was weird, he never whispers and as he turned his head, I thought his skin looked a  
little green..  
"Fulton, what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm sick Portman...." 


	9. 9

Fulton's POV  
  
Okay so maybe sick was a little melodramatic, physically I was as healthy as possible. But I was seeing a doctor weekly and I was taking a prescription to keep me the way I needed to be. What was that prescription? Prozac an antidepressant.  
  
"So what's wrong with you?" Portman sat down on a kitchen chair as I dug through my refrigerator for a bottle of non-curdled milk. "Are you... you're not dying are you?"  
  
I snorted a laugh, was I dying? Come on now talk about pessimistic.  
  
"No, I'm not dying Portman."  
  
"But you said..."  
  
"I said I was sick." I cut him off. "I never said I was dying, you just assumed that's what I meant."  
  
He shook his head at me, confusion behind his green eyes.  
  
"So that what's going on?"  
  
"I've been seeing a therapist Dean, I'm suffering from deep depression." I sighed pouring the milk into a glass and mixing it with some chocolate syrup. "With the potential to go manic."  
  
"Okay, so are you taking medication?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So then what's the big deal?"  
  
What's the big deal? I began to see at that very moment why girls always say we're insensitive. What's the big deal? I wanted to hit him. I was suffering from a severe case of depression and that's all he could say.  
  
I was disgusted.  
  
"What do you mean, what's the big deal? Portman that's a very big deal."   
  
"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. I mean I know that's a bog deal, it's just it's not like its' going to kill you." He waved his hands at me frantically.  
  
I rubbed my temples and took a long sip of my milk through the straw I'd put in it due to laziness. It was good to know he was so worried about my mortality, unfortunately the fact I was going crazy seemed to have no effect on him. Maybe he didn't understand the importance of what I was saying.  
  
"No, it's not going to kill me so what?"  
  
"Well, I was thinking on the drive back here that maybe the reason you broke up with me was because you were dying."  
  
Portman ran his hand through his hair and rocked back in his seat. I stared at him for a long minute thinking. He was obviously anxious and it took me a second to figure what he was really asking me. But I realized he did deserve an answer, even if I hadn't really seen fit to give him one before. How could I explain this situation to him? It was a hard thing, especially since my therapist thought he caused my condition. According to Dr. Saucer the feeling of inadequacy compared to Maryanne sparked the depression. I however didn't blame him, that wasn't why I dumped him.  
  
"You're partly right Portman. I did break up with because I'm sick and the reason for that is, my doctor said I'm going to get worse before I get better. I'm going to have really up days and really down days, I just don't want you around on those down days."  
  
"But I want to be there Fult." He reached across the table and squeezed my hand. "And I will be, if you'll let me."  
  
I shook my head.  
  
"I want it all or nothing Dean. I can't just have you here because I'm losing my mind and you think you can protect me from it. I either want you love me and be here for me or I want you gone. You can't do that from Chicago, you can't give me what I need being a part time boyfriend. It's not fair to you either, you should be with someone in Illinois."  
  
There was an ackward silence hoffering in the kitchen, the only sound the humming of my fridge. Finally he pushed back his chair and got up from the table. Without so much as a word he walked into my bedroom and picked up his bag. Remaining soundless he left through my front door. I was shocked to say the least, but I was certain he'd be back by the end of the night.  
  
He didn't come back. 


	10. 10 Double Digits YAY!

Portman's POV  
  
I sat on the bench at the train station with my ticket in one hand and the keys to Fulton's apartment in the other. I knew I couldn't go back to his house, but I couldn't leave. How could I? What type of person would that make me, to find out the love of my life was suffering from severe depression and just walking away? When they called my train I started toward the track, maybe I should've just gone home.  
  
When my cab pulled up to the ritzy condo I had asked the driver to bring me to I tossed the money over my shoulder and got out. The doorman recognized me as I walked up and held open the door for me. I went straight to the elevator and pushed the number of the floor I wanted to go. I tapped on the door that read R18 and waited patiently for the owner to open up. And then they did. However when they opened up, they weren't exactly who I'd been expecting to see.  
  
"Ms. McKay?" I raised my eyebrows at the fair haired women in front of me.  
  
"Hello Dean, it's nice to see you, it's been a long time. Come in, please." She stepped back and allowed me and my bag inside with a smile. "Gordon didn't mention you'd be coming by."  
  
"Well that's because he doesn't know. Is coach here?"  
  
Just as I asked I heard a familiar voice call out from the kitchen.  
  
"Michelle who was at the door?" Coach Bombay waltzed into the hallway holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and glasses in the other.  
  
I started to get the feeling I'd interrupted something and sunk against the wall. I knew Bombay and Ms. McKay were suppose to be getting married soon and didn't want to be in the way of whatever romantic endeavor that had planned. But then he spotted me.  
  
"Hey Portman, what are you doing here? I thought you were staying with Fulton this week."  
  
I bit my lip and sighed  
  
"I was, it's a long story."  
  
"We've got plenty of time, we don't really have any plans. Why don't you sit down and talk to Gordon? I'll go find us something else to drink." Ms. McKay walked away carrying the alcohol and crystal champagne flutes along with her, as Coach Bombay tugged me into the living room.  
  
I objected of course not wanting to ruin their evening but neither would hear or if, the Ducks were pretty much the most important thing in Bombay's life so he wasn't going to let it go.  
  
"I don't want to intrude or interrupt."  
  
"You're not, so what's going on?" Bombay sat in an arm chair across from the couch I'd take occupancy in.  
  
"Fulton broke up with me, for the stupidest reason in the world." Coach said nothing but when I looked over at him and saw the attentive expression on his face I continued. "He says he's been diagnosed with potentially manic depression and doesn't want me around. Can you believe that, what a moron."  
  
Bombay cracked his knuckles and nodded.  
  
"Did you ever stop to think or things from his perspective Portman? You guys are still young and Fulton just learned he has a hard to manage mental illness. It's not going to be easy to deal with, on top of the every day hassles of life like college and work, you can't blame him for thinking a relationship is too much to deal with at the moment."  
  
"But I can help him coach, if he just lets me. I don't see what good I'll be doing in Chicago when he needs me here, even if he is to stubborn to admit it."  
  
Ms. McKay reentered then carrying a jug of cranberry-apple juice and three plastic cups rather then what he'd left with.  
  
"What did I miss?"  
  
"Well," Her fiancé began. "Fulton just found out he has depression and he's pushing Portman out of his life."  
  
"I remember a plot just like this on Day's of Our Lives once." The women giggled, I however didn't find it funny.  
  
"I'm not going home, I'll see if I can live with Banks if I have too." I declared.  
  
"I think that Banks' family has enough to deal with right now Portman." Coach stated and I frowned, he was right. "But you're welcome to stay in my guest room for a while, I'll be away on Jr. Good Will Games business at the end of the week, so the apartment will be all yours. Plus with the wedding coming it would be good to have someone here to answer the phone and check the mail for me, in case of any last minute wedding messes."  
  
I smiled the biggest smile of my life as I hopped up and ran into the guest room to unpack. I wasn't going back to Chicago so there was noway Fulton was getting away from me that easy.  
  
~* Okay so I couldn't send him away, but I couldn't get them back together instantly either. I suck at the Bash Brother's romance thing. sigh* It took me like a month to write this one crappy chapter, maybe I should stick to Charlie and Banks.Anyway look for the reunion between Futlon and Portman soon.... or at this rate not so soon.*~ 


	11. 11

Fulton's POV  
  
I had just fallen asleep two hours before when my bedroom phone started ringing. Keeping my eyes closed I rolled over and poked around my nightstand for the phone. Unfortunately in my blind fumbling I stuck my hand directly in a bowl melted ice cream from the night before and knocked over a glass of lemonade. Needless to say I was not happy at all. When my sticky fingers actually found the receiver I was pretty cranky.  
  
"Huh-" I cleared my throat. "Hello."  
  
"Good morning Fulton, it's Gordon, did I wake you?" The voice on the other end greeted.  
  
"Oh hey coach, nah I've been up for hours" I lied "What's up?"  
  
"Well I'm calling because I have something of yours here and I was hoping you'd come pick it up."  
  
"Something of mine, are you sure?"  
  
"Positive do you think you could get over here today?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, I'll be by in a few."  
  
I hung up the phone and pulled on a crumpled pair of jeans off the floor and over my boxers. Tying my bandana around my unbrushed hair as I left the room, I went in search of my sneakers. I slid them on, stuck my car keys in my pocket and was out the front door. Shockingly I didn't even trip over my own feet as I clambered down the stairs.  
  
The entire ride to Bombay's I sat at the wheel of my Bronco, wondering what in the hell he could have of mine. I hadn't been to his condo in over two months, so I was pretty certain if I'd left something there he would've found it a long time ago. But still if there was something Bombay needed to see me so badly that he'd lie, I was willing to go to him and find out what. Besides, I had nothing better to do.  
  
The doorman wasn't on duty when I parked my truck, so I just walked right in and directly to the elevator. Funny thing, I petrified of airplanes and them falling out of the sky with me in them, but elevators don't frighten me. When in fact if the elevator was to come crashing to the ground, I would probably be killed. This after Averman was trapped in one with a girl from high school that he hated, for a whole afternoon. I guess I'm just strange like that.  
  
Coach's door was wide open when I got to his floor and it was obvious he'd been impatiently awaiting my arrival. I stuck my head in and looked around, hearing sounds from the kitchen I went it.  
  
"Coach, I'm here!" I yelled out, looking around the hallway for a sign of life.  
  
"Oh, hey Fulton." Gordon appeared next to me with a cup of coffee. "I believe your belonging is in the guest room."  
  
"You know, I don't know what you could possibly have of mine."  
  
"Well it's in there, trust me you'll know as soon as you see it."  
  
With a nod I set out down the hall toward the spare bedroom. That door was shut tightly, it and it actually annoyed me to have to open it. It was sort of like Christmas, I just wanted to know what was in there. Then as soon as I saw what was inside, I wished I'd left it closed. Portman was sitting on the bed, with a look on his face, telling me he'd been waiting attentively for my arrival.  
  
"You're my missing possession?" I scowl, crossing my arms.  
  
"I couldn't think of any other way to get you here. Fulton we really need to talk, or rather I need to talk, you need to listen to me." Portman sighs and gets up from the bed. He reaches for my shoulders to direct me into a chair in the corner but I shrug him off.  
  
"I don't have to do anything,"  
  
"Fult, really just give me a minute. Then if you don't like what I have to say, you can go. All I want is for you to hear me out, I earned that."  
  
He was right, after the way I ran him out of the house last night, I owed him the chance to speak his own mind. So reluctantly I deposited myself on the chair and waited.  
  
"We've been friends for a long time Fulton, haven't we?" He started by asking before going in his speech.  
  
I rolled my eyes, uninterested in where this was going already. "Yeah."  
  
"Okay, so right now I want you to talk to me as a long time friend, not the dreaded ex. Tell me why broke up with your boyfriend, now be honest, you can always be honest with friends."  
  
"Are you serious? I broke up with you because I've got too much shit to deal with in my own life right now!"  
  
"Not me, him."  
  
"Fine, him."  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
That made me groan. "Of course I do."  
  
"Do you think he loves you?" He inquired.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so."  
  
"Enough to drop out of college, move in with an old coach and get a full time job that pays crap to be near you?"  
  
"I don't know, I've never asked."  
  
"Ask him."  
  
The conversation was starting to give me a headache but still I humored him. "Okay, Portman , do you love me enough to drop out of college, move in with an old coach and get a full time job that pays crap to be near me?"  
  
"Yes," He replied "I do. And I've already done it, Bombay got me a job in the mail room at his office, I called the University of Illinois last night and dropped out and you're looking at my new bedroom."  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm not leaving and I'm not letting you push me away. I love you Fulton Reed and I know you love me. I don't care what sort of medication you're on, I don't care if you're going to have severe ups and downs, I just want to be with you. I want to be here for you through all of that." Portman dropped onto his knees in front of my seat and put his hands on mine. "All I want is for us to be together, I'll take you however you come. Don't be scared for me, I'm not, I can deal with anything you can dish out. Besides that, you need me."  
  
I've never been one to cry but tears started to trickle the length of my face, I'd never felt so much love in my life. I couldn't stop crying, but they weren't depressed tears, they were happy tears. Burying my face in his shoulder I continued to blubber like a baby. He was right, I did need him and it was evident he needed me too. If we needed each other, I couldn't see a reason for us to be apart. 


	12. 12

Portman's POV  
  
I opened my eyes and coughed, choking on the mass of thick black hair that's in my face. Fulton was asleep on my left arm and I poked him gently in the side with my other hand. He stirred but doesn't move, so I jabbed him again, a little harder this time.  
  
"No TV and no beer make Homer something, something." He muttered sleepily and turns over.  
  
I snorted and rolled my eyes, nudging him one last time, this time adding. "Fulton Reed if you don't get your sexy ass up right now, I promise to never kiss you again."  
  
Fulton flopped back over and looked me in the eyes, declaring. "Try that again later when you don't have morning breath, Dean."  
  
"I feel the love, really I do."  
  
"You should," He yawned. "it's there."  
  
It was a week after we'd got back together and Fulton had spent the night at Bombay's with me. He's a good a sleeping partner, I can't say the same for myself though. I tend too kick, which explains the scattering of bruises on his legs. He never mentioned it too me though, I pretended I didn't do it.  
  
"The rehearsal dinner's tonight, I wonder how Banksie will do seeing Charlie and all." I sat up and stretched my arms above my head.  
  
"I dunno, we're gonna have too keep and eye on him. You know in case he gets upset and needs someone to talk too or something."  
  
"Yup." I put my feet on the floor and push myself off the bed. "I need a shower."  
  
Fulton smirks slyly. "Really? Me too, wanna share?"  
  
I gave him my best come hither stare and bolted in the direction of the bathroom. I could hear my boyfriend's feat pounding the hallway floor and I felt like a little kid again, experiencing love for the first time. It was the most invigorating shower I've ever taken. Though honestly I felt a little dirty when I got out, but that's another story.  
  
"What the H E double hockey sticks, do you wear too a rehearsal dinner?" I asked, pulling open my draw and tossing some clothes on the floor.  
  
"Pants preferably and a shirt." Fult joke and I glared at him.  
  
"You're no help,"  
  
"And you're a 6'2" baby, Dean. Just wear your black jeans and green button down shirt you have."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
After I finally managed to dress myself, or rather Fulton managed to dress me, we set off to the church for rehearsal. I have too say the house of worship was huge and immaculate. If I ever get married, that is the type of place I'd like too have the service in. You could fit have of Chicago in there. Leave it to Ms. McKay to go over bored.  
  
When Charlie showed I watched Banks from the pew I was sitting in. Adam didn't look happy, in fact, he looked down right, sad. It seemed to worsen at supper that night, while he sat with Fulton and I at the hall. I could tell it was bothering that we were being so cute and coupely, but there wasn't really anything we could do about it. I could hardly be next too my few Bash Brother without wanting to jump his sexy bones. I was and still am a very weak boy. If he knew how badly I felt when Fulton and I split up those weeks before, I think he'd understand. When you love someone you wanna be around all the time, that's how I felt then. That's how I feel now. And I always will. 


End file.
